Tasty teasers for your reading pleasure.

from ACT I, SCENE III
©2002 Daniel J. Blau, Tracie Potochnik, Adam Blau

(GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS returns to the exterior of the Oval Office. Standing in his way is MONICA LEWINSKY. She is holding a giant clunky briefcase and two cups of coffee in a container. Her tomato-red dress is very prom-like, and is accentuated by a confounding amount of frills and extremely conspicuous shoulder pads. GEORGE bumps into her. Coffee spills on his suit.)

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
(angrily) What the...?

MONICA
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Mr. Stephanopoulos. I didn't mean to...

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
(still angry)
Who are you and why are you lurking outside of the Oval Office spilling things on people's Armani suits? Do you know what this cost? How would you like it if I stained your dress?

MONICA
(almost in tears now)
Oh, I'll pay to have it cleaned, I will!

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
And how come you're not out there with the other girls?

MONICA
They told me my shoulder pads were too big to fit in their circle, so, well, it's just that...
(she sticks out her hand)
Hi. I'm Monica Lewinsky. I'm here to interview for one of the intern positions. Please don't hate me. It's just that I read an article in the Post about how much you love mochaccino, and I thought it would be like, you know, cool to stop and get you one.

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
(still hasn't taken her hand)
Ms. Labinsky...

MONICA
Lewinsky. I'm a huge fan of yours! You're so brilliant and handsome and...oh, gosh, did I just say handsome? That slipped out. I was thinking handsome but I didn't mean to say it out loud. Oh, my God, Monica, shut up!

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
Ms. Lewinsky, I'm...
(repressing a look of repulsion)
flattered. But there are certain rules of decorum between a high-ranking White House official and...well...whatever you are. While I appreciate the gesture, I can't allow it to happen again. Are we clear on this?

MONICA
(dejected)
You think I'm ugly and fat!

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
No, dear, it isn't that. It's just that we can't allow this type of relationship to happen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to change my shirt before my press conference.

MONICA
God, Monica. You are so stupid! And fat. And lost. Sigh. I thought that things would be different here. I guess I was wrong.